On December 2, 2012, we had the Service of Wholeness we have been planning for several months. It was in the evening, and open to any who felt the need. Because it was on Sunday night, it was also available to the I-HELP Ladies, who use our church as a sleeping/showering place. This is a ministry of our church for the homeless.
I brought recorded music to play softly at the beginning and end of the service, as a Prelude and Postlude. The songs I picked were songs that spoke to me in this setting and circumstance. I will include them later in this post. My Pastor and I planned the service... musically, symbolically, ... using resources I had discovered in my search, from books and the Internet, and even using rocks.
Yes, rocks. Because in counseling, I had referred to the burdens of abuse and secrets as being like rocks that I carried around with me. I had said that someday, maybe I could just lug those rocks down the center aisle of our church and leave them up front on the altar, or the steps. Maybe I could just leave them there and walk away. So my Pastor brought rocks to church for the service. They were strewn randomly all along the aisle. There was a cross set up at the front of the church with a few rocks already around its base.
When I got to church, the scene was so beautiful to me.... that quiet church, the cross at the front, the rocks, the music... everything ready and waiting to welcome those who needed this time for meditation, prayer, anointing, healing, and a laying down of burdens.
A very small number of people came... but then the focus of the service was very specific... being a service for those who were sexually abused and their families, as well as those who knew someone, like a friend for instance, who had been abused. Some came to pray and support others. And a small number came as victims.
I have included the service bulletin on another page. Click here to see it.
The Prelude and Postlude follow:
Prelude
Postlude
I don't think I can find the words to adequately express what this service meant to me. There were friends who gathered around me, loving on me, reassuring me of their acceptance and encouragement. Letting go of all the secrets was an uplifting experience. Picking out the rock to bring to the cross turned out to be more difficult... and I ended up picking out two big rocks and carrying them to the pile that was already there. I really felt I needed more than one rock to do the job.... but two was all I could manage. Then the time of prayer with a pastor and elder, the anointing with oil... singing favorite hymns... all of it was so good. And after the service, my friends gathered around again, and lingered to speak personally with me. Nobody was in a big rush to leave.
The Songs We Sang
Just As I Am
A Broken Spirit
Amazing Grace [My Chains Are Gone]
I have "come out" so to speak. Now there are people who know what happened to me, and still love me. I don't feel alone anymore. I know I'm not all better yet... but I will be. Healing takes a long time, and probably some help from others. But I truly believe I left so many burdens in a pile of rocks Sunday night. Praise the Lord.
7 comments:
I feel so honored to have been a part of the Service of Wholeness. Thank you for working to create it.
The work was not mine alone... But the privilege of helping to create the service became a work of healing for me. I am thankful for the whole experience.
Sounds like it was wonderful. You have great support and a great church. I'm happy the service brought peace to you. The songs "Just As I Am" and "Amazing Grace" (my chains are gone), are two of my many favorites. The rocks at the altar part reminds me of a song by Kirk Franklin titled "At The Altar".
I am in awe of the fact that you were able to get your church to do this service. So many churchgoers and pastors are afraid to go near this topic. I am sure it helped in your healing -- but more important I hope it opened hearts and minds throughout the church. Have you noticed any change? Perhaps a greater willingness to talk about sexual abuse, or greater compassion for the victims?
I do not hear more talk about sexual abuse at my church, but I feel a connection with others in the congregation who came forward to tell me that they, too, are victims of sexual abuse. And I see more compassion and loving service to the homeless who are victims in many ways. We have so many homeless people around our church, which is located in the inner city.
This sounds like a wonderful service. What strength it must has taken for you to participate in that type of service.
It did make me nervous and unsure in the beginning, but I was so "surrounded" with those who loved me and accepted me... it became an experience that made me feel strong.
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