The longer we were together, the more of his rules there seemed to be. They were developed as needed. And the more rules there were, the less of me there was... because each rule took a little something away.
When I look back on that time, I marvel that I didn't just say "no" to some of those rules. After all, what could he do? Chase after me? Hardly… But he had me… and the caretaker in me couldn't just walk away.
I think he managed to change the way I saw that relationship, so that things that at one time wouldn't have been acceptable became OK. After all, he was the minister… the handicapped minister. If he said it was OK, well then…apparently I needed to adjust my thinking.
As I travel the road from victim to survivor, this blog records the struggles I face dealing with memories of clergy abuse, and trying to move on... It has taken many years to get to this point, but I know there is still good life to live... And I hope in telling this story, we can be guided to a place of understanding... healing... and perhaps, even forgiveness.
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BIBLE VERSES TO HELP ME___________________________________
Psalms 37:40—"And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."
Jeremiah 23:1-4—"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture" declares the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: "You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, , and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds," declares the Lord. "Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing," declares the Lord.
MORE_____________________________________________________
FURTHER READING ON THE WEB [click here]_______________
RELATED VIDEOS ON THE WEB [click here]_________________
HELPFUL WEBSITES [click here]__________________________
HELPFUL BOOKS [click here]_____________________________
DEVOTIONS AND MEDITATIONS [click here]_________________
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UNFINISHED MELODY
Someday, Lord I pray,
there will be a place for me,
where ears take time to listen,
where eyes take time to see.
A place where I can laugh and cry
and know that I belong.
Someday, that's where
I will sing my song.
And someday, Lord I pray, in a place......
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SERMONS
The Power of Pentecost
This sermon helped me so much... and gave me the push I needed to begin the healing process in earnest. Thank you to the minister who wasn't afraid to preach it!
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Looking Forward In Faith
[part 1]
[part 2]
During a recent Sunday morning worship service I was blessed to hear a sermon that spoke to my heart, and reminded me that I am forgiven. I will cling to these words as I continue to move from victim to survivor to thriver.
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Oh, For the Wings of a Dove
[Mendelssohn]
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
Far away,
far away would I rove!
Oh, for the wings,
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
Far away,
far away, far away,
far away would I rove!
In the wilderness
In the wilderness
build me a nest,
And remain there
And remain there
forever at rest
In the wilderness
In the wilderness
build me, build me a nest,
And remain
And remain
there forever at rest
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