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Thursday

Flashback

     From time to time, something happens in my day that transports me back to that time in my life... that time of abuse. It can be quite unexpected. But I have come to know that those experiences are 'flashbacks.' And in an effort to know and understand what is happening to me when I am so quickly taken back to those awful memories, I've again gone to the Internet to find out more. Also, some of the books I've been reading have done a good job of explaining things to me. So...
     Flashbacks are memories of past traumas. They may take the form of pictures, sounds, smells, body sensations, feelings, or even the lack of them (numbness). 
     Many times there is no actual visual or auditory memory with flashbacks. A person may have a sense of panic, of being trapped, or a feeling of powerlessness with no memory stimulating it. These experiences can also happen during sleep... in dreams.
     During the initial time of abuse, the survivor had to insulate herself from the emotional and physical horrors of the trauma. In order to survive, that insulated part remained isolated, unable to express the feelings and thoughts of that time. It is as though the survivor put that part of herself into a time capsule, which later surfaces and comes out as a flashback, feeling just as intense in the present as it did during the crisis.
     When that part comes out, the survivor is experiencing the past as if it were happening again today. The intense feelings and body sensations occurring are frightening because the feelings/sensations are not related to the reality of the present and many times seem to come from nowhere.
     The survivor may begin to think she is crazy and is afraid of telling anyone about these experiences. The survivor may feel out of control and at the mercy of her memories.
     Flashbacks are unsettling and can feel overwhelming because I get so caught up in the trauma that I forget about the safety and security of where I am now.


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BIBLE VERSES TO HELP ME___________________________________

Psalms 37:40—"And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."

Jeremiah 23:1-4—"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture" declares the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: "You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, , and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds," declares the Lord. "Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing," declares the Lord.

MORE_____________________________________________________

FURTHER READING ON THE WEB [click here]_______________

RELATED VIDEOS ON THE WEB [click here]_________________

HELPFUL WEBSITES [click here]__________________________

HELPFUL BOOKS [click here]_____________________________

DEVOTIONS AND MEDITATIONS [click here]_________________

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UNFINISHED MELODY

Someday, Lord I pray,
there will be a place for me,
where ears take time to listen,
where eyes take time to see.
A place where I can laugh and cry
and know that I belong.
Someday, that's where
I will sing my song.

And someday, Lord I pray, in a place......
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SERMONS

The Power of Pentecost
This sermon helped me so much... and gave me the push I needed to begin the healing process in earnest. Thank you to the minister who wasn't afraid to preach it!
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Looking Forward In Faith
[part 1]


[part 2]

During a recent Sunday morning worship service I was blessed to hear a sermon that spoke to my heart, and reminded me that I am forgiven. I will cling to these words as I continue to move from victim to survivor to thriver.
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Oh, For the Wings of a Dove

[Mendelssohn]
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
far away would I rove!
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
far away, far away,
far away would I rove!

In the wilderness
build me a nest,
And remain there
forever at rest
In the wilderness
build me, build me a nest,
And remain
there forever at rest