Physician, Heal Thyself

The Internet Phrase Finder defines the expression used in the title of this post. That's what I'll use as a jumping-off place today...


Meaning
Attend to one's own faults:
The phrase alludes to the readiness and ability of physicians to heal sickness in others while sometimes not being able or willing to heal themselves. This suggests something of 'the cobbler always wears the worst shoes', i.e. cobblers are too poor and busy to attend to their own footwear. It also suggests that physicians, while often being able to help the sick, cannot always do so and, when sick themselves, are no better placed than anyone else.

Origin
From the Bible, Luke 4:23 (King James Version):

And he said unto them, Ye will surely say unto me this proverb, Physician, heal thyself: whatsoever we have heard done in Capernaum, do also here in thy country.

The text is usually interpreted to mean that Jesus knew he would hear the proverb said to him in Nazareth, and the people there would expect him to work miracles in his hometown as he had in other places

    A friend of mine [one of the few who know of my past struggles] recently suggested that perhaps I could find some help and closure by talking with a Christian Counselor. Of course, my immediate reaction was to balk and say, "I don't have money for that kind of thing." And it's true, I live 'pretty close to the line.' Plus, in the past my attempts at 'talking with someone' have not fixed me.... 

     Hence, the title of this post... Physician etc. etc..... Maybe in talking about it right here, reading about it, thinking about it, immersing myself in it, and living it again in my memories can give the whole experience of clergy abuse the expression it seems to need. Maybe 'getting it out' will indeed 'get it out' of me.
     Our sermon in church today was about the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill." And our minister pointed out that we kill with our thoughts and words, as well as knives and guns. Is that what I'm doing in this blog? Is it wrong to be discussing the things that happened to me? Is it wrong to say where I think the blame belongs? I hope not. For my intent is to get the poison out, to speak the wrongs, and to feel like someone is listening. Are you listening? Is someone out there hearing me? 

     So, physician.... heal thyself.  I am trying to do that... and I pray God will guide me through the process... so I can finally reach the top of this hole I'm climbing out of...  and move on.