Christmas comes closer, and the hustle of extra commitments, special music to learn, food to prepare, holiday programs, time with friends and family, last minute rehearsals.... all these things are so welcome in my life... and the ghosts and shadows of "days gone by" slip away for a while. After all, my brain can only hold onto so much. But the fact that ghosts and shadows CAN slip away for a while reinforces what I am learning about myself. "And what is that?" you ask.
Just this... Even though I enjoy doing things by myself, it doesn't pay for me to be a loner too much of the time. Being a loner seems to encourage me to look within, and dwell on the inside of me. It's an extremely narrow view... one that asks 'how am I feeling today? What's bothering me today?' It's a view that seems to conjure up bad memories that might not bother me if I were more actively looking elsewhere. Better to look out, and see what's waiting there... maybe see someone else's need... maybe recognize a way to serve.
And the "giving" doesn't mean I'm not "getting." Cuz it's in the "giving" that I "get." It is my prayer that God will help me learn to look "out" more and "in" less.
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