I am feeling quite overwhelmed. It's my own fault... because since the Wholeness Service I have had occasion to speak with several who are offering to talk with me, or 'help' me, or counsel me. I feel myself backing away. It's too many people coming at me. I say it's my own fault because I was more willing to talk about my experiences of abuse.
There is a lady in choir who used to be a nurse. She says she has special training in helping sexual abuse victims. There is a woman who is a survivor of sexual abuse who offers a listening ear. There are those who say they are praying for me.
And then there was today, after church. This lady gave me a business card that says she is a crisis chaplain. In conversation with her, as she told me all the kinds of counseling in which she is experienced, I casually asked if that included sexual abuse counseling. It was just part of the conversation... I was not shopping for a counselor. Of course she was interested in knowing why I asked. I mentioned the clergy abuse and she got very excited. She said she had goose-bumps.... because that was her area of expertise.
I told her you had helped me a lot, and our Parish Visitor too. I spoke of the Wholeness Service... how good it had been for me.... and she let me know she did not think that kind of service was a good idea. That surprised me. I told her how you and I had developed it together, and I felt it was so personal, and so met my needs. She said other disapproving things.
I told her about my blog... but she said she wanted to talk with me before reading any blog. I am not having a good feeling about this person. I told her that saying negative things about a service that helped me, and the counseling I was receiving was not a very good way to encourage me, or get to know me.
So she gave me her card, and indicated she has more to say to me, and hopes I will be in touch. I'm backing away. She bowled me over. It's too many people.
1 comment:
My first thought was that this counselor is not a good choice to speak with because she seemed to come on too strong and seemed not to listen to you. She seemed she wanted to jump in and give her opinion and she don't even know you. Aren't counselors supposed to listen. But then I think that if she knows about clergy abuse, maybe she sees/knows something you don't? Maybe she will have your best interest at heart or maybe she'll just add to the confusion and hold you back from moving forward. But I don't know. You have to listen to your heart and go with what you feel is right. If you feel she's not a good choice and you don't trust her, then don't contact her. Talk with someone you can trust and feel comfortable with. No need to accept help from every person who offers. One good person is better than lots of not so good people. Why she sees a problem with the service and you working with your pastor to put the service together when it helped you is strange.
You can always talk to Jesus. He's always there whenever you need him.
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