After the lesson, she sat with him in his big soft chair. He wrapped his arms around her. "Do you love me?" he asked.
She smiled and answered, "Sure."
"Really?" he said. "I'm a lot older than you. Would you marry me?"
She laughed and answered, "Sure."
"Hmmm... so," he persisted, "if I wasn't married and you weren't married, you'd do that? I've got lots of problems."
"I know," she answered softly.
"I love you, dear," he whispered. "Give me a kiss."
So she kissed his cheek.
"No," he said impatiently. "Like this." And he drew her closer and pressed his mouth against her lips and put his tongue in her mouth. When he finally let her go he said "There... did you like that??"
She didn't answer. She wanted to leave.
"That's the way to do it... with your tongue. That's like having sex."
She sat there a moment and then got off his lap... and when she could gracefully leave the situation, [she didn't want to hurt his feelings] she slipped into the bathroom to rinse out her mouth.
As I travel the road from victim to survivor, this blog records the struggles I face dealing with memories of clergy abuse, and trying to move on... It has taken many years to get to this point, but I know there is still good life to live... And I hope in telling this story, we can be guided to a place of understanding... healing... and perhaps, even forgiveness.
*CERTAIN POSTS WITHIN THIS BLOG INCLUDE CONTENT ONLY SUITABLE FOR ADULTS.* [This notification required by Google]
BIBLE VERSES TO HELP ME___________________________________
Psalms 37:40—"And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."
Jeremiah 23:1-4—"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture" declares the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: "You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, , and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds," declares the Lord. "Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing," declares the Lord.
MORE_____________________________________________________
FURTHER READING ON THE WEB [click here]_______________
RELATED VIDEOS ON THE WEB [click here]_________________
HELPFUL WEBSITES [click here]__________________________
HELPFUL BOOKS [click here]_____________________________
DEVOTIONS AND MEDITATIONS [click here]_________________
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UNFINISHED MELODY
Someday, Lord I pray,
there will be a place for me,
where ears take time to listen,
where eyes take time to see.
A place where I can laugh and cry
and know that I belong.
Someday, that's where
I will sing my song.
And someday, Lord I pray, in a place......
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SERMONS
The Power of Pentecost
This sermon helped me so much... and gave me the push I needed to begin the healing process in earnest. Thank you to the minister who wasn't afraid to preach it!
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Looking Forward In Faith
[part 1]
[part 2]
During a recent Sunday morning worship service I was blessed to hear a sermon that spoke to my heart, and reminded me that I am forgiven. I will cling to these words as I continue to move from victim to survivor to thriver.
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Oh, For the Wings of a Dove
[Mendelssohn]
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
Far away,
far away would I rove!
Oh, for the wings,
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
Far away,
far away, far away,
far away would I rove!
In the wilderness
In the wilderness
build me a nest,
And remain there
And remain there
forever at rest
In the wilderness
In the wilderness
build me, build me a nest,
And remain
And remain
there forever at rest
3 comments:
And for so many years I imagined that I was the only one this happened to....I cannot believe I found this blog...I am saddened and yet comforted to know that I am not the only one to be violated by a pastor. God help us all....
I am stunned to discover that I am not the only person to have been violated this way by a pastor. For years, I thought I was the only one. I am saddened, yet comforted to know I am not alone in this. God help us all...
Dear Hope,
A person can put up with a lot to feel loved. But this was not love... it was abuse in disguise. Speak out about your abuse. Holding it inside serves no purpose. That's one of the lessons I'm learning.
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