Subject: report from our sister
Friends,
As those of you know who were present Sunday, I had the sad responsibility of informing you that a sister from our congregation had come to me some months ago to tell of sexual abuse she experienced from a pastor here many many years ago. Since that man is now deceased the challenge is coming up with a suitable response. Those present Sunday had an immediate outpouring of love and concern, and of course wanted to know if the Presbytery had been notified (yes) and if this woman had access to good resources for victims of clergy sexual abuse (again, yes). An idea was also suggested to consider holding a Service of Wholeness for any victims of sexual abuse, and we also agreed to pray and ponder the matter further, revisiting it at our November meeting.
Of course I gave a report to our sister (who was eager to hear) and expressed your deep love and concern…the desire to give her a hug both literally and figuratively. She was extremely appreciative of that response, and in many ways it seems that just knowing you know is healing for her. She has also sent the message below, and suggests that a Service of Wholeness might be a good next step.
Dear Pastor, and Members of Session,
Thank you for the time you have spent listening to my story and thinking about my situation. The abuse I suffered in this church happened so long ago, yet the pain of it still lives inside of me. I am learning that healing takes lots of time, especially when it doesn't get started right away. The results of any injury can fester and burrow deep when left hidden… and unattended.
Speaking out about what happened to me is difficult, but it's one of the first steps in my recovery. It's like going through a grieving process, and now, I have taken that first step. Maybe there are others in our midst, people who worship with us and fellowship with us… people who are long-time members of our congregation, who have been hurt in some way and need to take steps for healing.
Could we help them do that? Could we offer some kind of symbolic 'service of healing' that could help them move closer to wholeness, ... whether it be physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual… a service that signifies a movement forward, a shedding of injury and burden… a time to let go of old memories and pain?
I have stepped forward because I want to leave old injuries behind. I want to forgive myself, to feel clean and healthy, to be a whole person, ready to follow wherever God is leading me. Can you help me do that? Can you help "all" of us do that?... because there are others, not just sexual abuse victims, but victims suffering with all kinds of pain. They are here among us. And I speak for them too.
Please pray about this, and be listening for the Lord's leading as you think about the pain of our brothers and sisters.
From your sister in Christ
I have replied to her about this and together she and I are thinking tentatively about a Sunday night service that could then also involve the I-HELP women, many of whom I imagine are also victims of sexual abuse at some point in their past.
Please reply to all with your thoughts, and thanks for your faithfulness in the face of a difficult issue.
In Christ,
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