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Monday

Unspeakable... continued




     ...He wanted my time, my touch, my undivided attention. He wanted my physical closeness, and my obedience. He wanted me to be in favor of anything he might suggest. He wanted to shower with me, sleep with me, experiment on me, have sex with me. I truly felt like a big part of my life was no longer my own.
     And after being with him, I would go home to take care of my children, and cook dinner for my husband, and act like everything was just fine. I would sing in the church choir, and teach my students at school, and work on my hobbies...    and no one knew about the darker side of my life.
     Surely if I was a stronger person... if I was walking more closely with God... if I truly loved my husband... if I were more devoted to my children... if... if... if...   I felt like a liar... a prostitute. I felt dirty, weak, stupid, unlovable, cast out by a God who was supposed to be protecting me. I felt like I was not going to Hell, but in Hell already. And I hated who I had become. Sometimes, even now, I still feel that way.

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BIBLE VERSES TO HELP ME___________________________________

Psalms 37:40—"And the LORD shall help them, and deliver them: he shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in him."

Jeremiah 23:1-4—"Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture" declares the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for my people: "You have scattered my flock and have driven them away, , and you have not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for your evil deeds," declares the Lord. "Then I will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them, and I will bring them back to their fold, and they shall be fruitful and multiply. I will set shepherds over them who will care for them, and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, neither shall any be missing," declares the Lord.

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FURTHER READING ON THE WEB [click here]_______________

RELATED VIDEOS ON THE WEB [click here]_________________

HELPFUL WEBSITES [click here]__________________________

HELPFUL BOOKS [click here]_____________________________

DEVOTIONS AND MEDITATIONS [click here]_________________

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UNFINISHED MELODY

Someday, Lord I pray,
there will be a place for me,
where ears take time to listen,
where eyes take time to see.
A place where I can laugh and cry
and know that I belong.
Someday, that's where
I will sing my song.

And someday, Lord I pray, in a place......
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SERMONS

The Power of Pentecost
This sermon helped me so much... and gave me the push I needed to begin the healing process in earnest. Thank you to the minister who wasn't afraid to preach it!
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Looking Forward In Faith
[part 1]


[part 2]

During a recent Sunday morning worship service I was blessed to hear a sermon that spoke to my heart, and reminded me that I am forgiven. I will cling to these words as I continue to move from victim to survivor to thriver.
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Oh, For the Wings of a Dove

[Mendelssohn]
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
far away would I rove!
Oh, for the wings,
for the wings of a dove,
Far away,
far away, far away,
far away would I rove!

In the wilderness
build me a nest,
And remain there
forever at rest
In the wilderness
build me, build me a nest,
And remain
there forever at rest